By: Arc

Level: 1

(3 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)

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Good Day. What is going on? Who brought up this concept that there is some competition between male and female? What does the term feminist even mean? What in nature’s name is a misogynist, how can one go about hating females and still have “mother” and “lover”? There can never be Gender Equality, that’s a myth, at the same time there is no such thing as inequality, that’s one wholesome fabricated lie. X is X, Y is Y; X is never equal to Y and X is never greater than Y or Y greater than X unless numerical values have been equated to X or Y as Mathematics has taught us. Male and female are strictly parallel lines. Before I start off, may I say I am a man and I apologize in advance if I come off as supporting my sex but what choice do I have eh? I’d just go ahead and break it down. Please exit at this point if you are a bull-headed feminist or downright irrational being.

NATURE: No matter your belief you’d see that the world is a perfectly ordered ecosystem. Animals give us a clear insight about how things should be, never mind that we believe we are superior to every other cell on earth, reason why we have created “bisexual and homosexual” rather than stick to the “sexual and asexual master plan.” We love to think outside the box, super awesome (led us to invent tissues and not dump dung everywhere) but I believe looking at the other beings shows us how things should be and how far civilization has driven us away from ‘’Nature’s core values.”

The Lion- Sits on his ass all day (18 hours sleep a day) while his lionesses go hunting for the pride. His sole duty spread his seed; protect his clan from intruding males.

How Man Modifies this– Men don’t sit on their asses, we hunt for the pride all year round (acknowledging that there are lion lazy men among us lol, we shouldn’t be judged on this minority), we protect our pride whenever and however. We’ve fought wars, carved out territories just so we could make love to our ladies in peace and let them raise mini people.

The Chickens- The cock (no pun intended) goes around forcing himself on any hen he fancies (if this is courtship or in fact rape is beyond our understanding lol). He accepts absolutely no responsibility for the chicks and the ever so hardworking mother hen takes care of her entire pack with not a single help from anybody and she sure doesn’t go whining about it or putting up “Super Woman” posts because it’s her job.

How Man Modifies this- We have ever so graciously moved from the era when men and women alike were beings absolutely responsive to pheromones with no decorum, religion, ethics or whatever to hold back our sexual desires, through Kings forcefully taking say a thousand wives for themselves, men pillaging villages after war and raping whatever they find down to the gentleman era when a man cherishes and thoroughly enjoys the feeling of pursuing a girl and getting her to bend to his will and fall for his charms, be you a Van Vicker or an Adams. Obtaining an “I love you” certificate or in the least an “I’m attracted to you” certificate rather than “I’m with you cos you are my lord” certification. Our good work of sexual reform though is undone by the psychos who refuse to masturbate in peace but would rather prefer to masturbate forcefully in the vagina of a screaming girl (not in a good way), the idiots who would stop at nothing to get payment for the meat pie and coke they offered a female on a date and the Old Dads who want nothing more than a 14 year old unwilling wife. That said, in the gentleman era, 90 percent of us men engage in courtship and do take responsibility for our chicks never mind the sick ones. Pre-wedding photos everywhere, there was a time when there was no such thing as pre-wedding, you were just ordered into a man’s chambers.

RELIGION: I’d breeze through this section because I want to stir up the least amount of controversy and also because I know you are probably bored by my lengthy speech lol.

Zeus: Almighty Greek God; Hera: Wife (god and goddess never god and god).

Krishna and Lakshmi for the Hindus and for the sake of the “equalists” I think Ardhanarishvara and the “trans” community Brahman.

Controversy Alert: The misogynist in chief of all the gods- The Christian God, who in every way is represented or depicted as a male. Surrounds himself with male beings alone (however homophilic that sounds), all angels are alluded as male. He gave unimaginable power to his male heir, never one day mentioning a daughter on the side. All records in his book about counting, counted only men, are women unworthy of counting? Thanks to our beloved Catholic church, the relevance of our mother Mary shines through daily. Am I being followed so far? Is this the supernatural scheme of things? Is it men over women? I have no clue, all these are history, stories told right? Oh I’m a Christian by the way, a very devout Catholic.

The Story of Adam and Eve: Cutting right to it, Eve went out to look for food- brought home the apple of destruction; it is perhaps for this reason that men decided to get the food themselves. RE: Lionesses, Hens. Forgive me for saying that perhaps we should be applauded for reversing nature and being the beings in charge of catering for the home (save for few lazy ones). Women should maybe understand that most likely it was the original plan for them to “hustle” till we were cursed to till the earth after disobedience. My point is, women should get off their lazy whining, “we-deserve-to-be pampered” ass and work hard. Please do keep calm and be happy with your success and never ever expect extra applause for succeeding because you are a woman. In the voice of Chris Rock, why expect extra credit for something that you are supposed to do? Did anyone say you were not supposed to be successful ever before? Please quote your source and let’s crucify the man who said such. Were you dared to take up the task of childbearing or child training? Some things just came to be.

WE ARE THE VICTIMS: Women are particularly vicious (mother hen protecting her chicks; Patience Ozokwor lol). Women have a certain lust for utter world domination (in contrast men just want to dominate their territory as it affects them).  It was Eve who ate the apple to access unimaginable power and convinced content Adam to do so. No matter the playing field, women would always shout out for dominance and cry that they are being marginalized; it’s second nature. Surely they are not fighting for gender equality, they are fighting for gender take over (quest for unimaginable power; RE: Eve, Cleopatra, Nefertiti, Delilah and oh controversy alert our own Virgin Mary robbing Jesus of his shine in the minds of some overzealous Catholic faithful, Khaleesi in GOT, Cersei) as most successful girls now have come to easily insult men. Imagine Jlo’s song “I ain’t your mama now“. I guess I’d sing “I ain’t your Papa now” anytime I do something for a lady.

• God forbid the rules were “men first”; men should walk in front; women would cry out, “why should a man lead the way? It’s injustice” but we men are content to let them lead the way and tag ourselves gentlemen. The rules conveniently change in time of danger.
• Oh! The outrage if men and children got off the Titanic with ladies left behind.
• How about women opening car doors?(how derogatory), if women carried heavier loads, if 90 percent of the army were women, if women didn’t get make up and we did, if we got child support and they didn’t(maybe car or play station support lol).
• What would happen if they were insulted for lasting only 5 minutes in bed (My God, a person must not be judged by sexual performance alone). We men are the victims here!!!!
• Dangote is a billionaire, not asking for a second’s praise, Chika the actress puts up a building, flashes it on a blog and demands we bow down and clap for her achievement. Every successful woman wants to bask in the “inspiration to other young girls” kini. A successful man on the other hand is inspiration to the general public, God forbid we men claim the inspiration.
• Kim wants everyone to show respect to the naked entrepreneur, Amber slut walks. In truth women just desire extra credit for being able to draw air like everyone else.

CULTURE AND IGNORANCE: Most feminists are in the feminist game (sorry to say) to serve their own needs basically before the woman race.  They want widespread approval ratings, political influence and their names to mean something first and for most. Clouded by this lust for personal glory they forget the main issues that need to be tackled and just disturb everyone’s peace with their gender equality bill and misguided attack on the male folk. Let’s analyze some of the problems in our society, some of the injustices against women and their origins

• Female child denied access to education, Male child favored: Root cause-Culture and Ignorance. Some girl has taken a bullet (highly commendable) in trying to correct this in her country. This is no fault of any man per say. And focusing solely on getting it passed into law that all girls must go to school is not the way forward. I do know that in most countries in the world all kids (Male and female) are entitled to basic education. Again we see a focus on the minority. I think feminists should spend more time erecting cheap schools, alleviating poverty and spreading enlightenment rather than put all efforts in getting a bill passed. No matter what is said or done you can’t stop Ahmed from sending Obi to school rather than Ada because of his financial strength. What would you have done? Arrest him for being broke or for spreading more seeds than he can cater for?
• Female Circumcision: I personally do not think this is a problem especially as 95 percent of the world now know that the female genitalia is perfect the way it is and it is really our phallus that needs some re-dressing, wouldn’t even be a phallus otherwise. Add the fact that circumcised girls do not enjoy our action as much as the uncircumcised ones and this battle has already been won.
• Child Marriage: Again civilization is caught up with the illusion that the entire world is on the same page with them. Ignorance is abound in all corners of the world and you cannot ask a people to change their way of life in its entirety because you believe 12 year old Amina should have a choice. I believe she has a choice too, a choice to meet her own Beiber and fall in love and all but how exactly do you explain this to her parents who have inherited this practice from generations past? This should be the focus. Key: This practice would be limited or diminished only when 99.9 percent of the world is enlightened, as long as close to 60 percent of my country Nigeria’s population remain bull headed dumb, no law can help you.  Telling them they are bound by law to not practice their ancestral belief (give up a girl on the release of her first egg to avoid wastage of eggs) would only cause chaos and determination on their part to continue their custom despite the odds. Perhaps the girl child would be encouraged to report her parents if she’s being put up for marriage against her will but does this girl child know about her rights (still hinges on education and enlightenment and not bill passing).
• Rape: Everyone knows rape is a crime; please feel free to catch, lynch, burn, life imprison any idiot-bastard who violates a lady. Please do not turn the aggression towards these demonic beings to the entire male kingdom. The fact that females who are raped find it hard to come forward is not a problem created by the male folk rather by society at large and we require more psychiatrists. Also the fact that there are cunning devil’s advocates who make cases for rapist and twist the court’s mind into agreeing that the girl deserved to be raped so to say because she was asking for it (either by indecent dressing or whatever twisted way he sells it to the court and brokers lighter sentences or sanctions if any) is a matter of ethics of the law profession and really doesn’t concern us gentlemen folk.
• Treatment of Widows: Custom! Custom! Custom! Why must the people of Umueke (apologies if there is a place actually by that name) stop the honorary shaving of a woman’s hair on losing her husband because team girl power advocates that it is inhuman for her to look less pretty even just for the period of mourning her husband? About the seizing of property by his family members (a matter still arising solely because of ignorance), please Madam Enlightened and Mrs. Woman Empoweror, endeavor to ensure that all documents to your husband’s assets bear both names (whoever goes first eh) and be sure he names his next of kin preferably your first son or oh to be gender correct I have to say first son or daughter (some do maternal inheritance, some paternal-whichever your forefathers decided).

MALES CAN F**K AROUND FEMALES CAN’T: Of all the things to be envious of (peeing upright, no childbirth pain, beards, no loads on our chest etc) they choose our promiscuity. As I’ve seen in one of those internet memes- an ancient Chinese proverb- “A key that unlocks all doors is a great key but a door that can be opened by all keys is a useless one.” Case closed.

SEXUAL OBJECTIFICATION OF LADIES: Well I must say on behalf of the men that we wish we were sexually objectified lol. Who doesn’t want to be a Beckham eh? Have ladies qualify your butt, I mean your butt. This is a big problem I admit, the way 90 percent of us men (perhaps even my humble self) look upon women as dishes to be eaten and some animals who can’t help themselves make sure they eat by coaxing females one way or the other. The thin line between success and failure of an exam, getting a job and not getting a call back, receiving financial help or not receiving etc (Totally condemn this and discourage this). These things are real and happen day to day, I would also add that the male folk are also harassed sexually though in the minority but usually more viciously (women have it harder accepting no). Women are not helped by the society exploiting their sexuality for advertising every business brand, a naked female in a commercial for a pencil (How the blazes do those relate?). They are not helped by the porn industry, the nude selfie industry, nudist in chief-Kim, the author of the bad bitch book and the fact that even cartoons have soft porn scenes.  Amazingly the women who contribute chiefly to this vice go around touting themselves as Women Empowerors. One of them has had her husband utter the absolute rubbish sentence-“Power in her nudity.” We all have the responsibility to teach the younger generation that there is more to womanhood (boobs and ass) than distasteful brand marketing and sexual whims. Going back to basics and standing up for religion and cultural beliefs (save for the Samba clan lol) might just be the way. Girls should be comfortable with the “virgin Mary” or the “uptight” tag.

We must learn to tell the difference between societal normalcy and people’s way of life or religion.

Balls, I’ve written a ton of cow dung. Enough!!! If you had the divine patience to read to this point, thumbs up, I’d have stopped reading since if I were you. I end here:

We Are Lords And The Females Are Lordesses. Let’s live in love and harmony, reform the world, stay on the line, no one is trying to prove a point. Be happy as man and woman. Looks like they’ve succeeded in confusing people; Jenner transitioned to a woman maybe because he felt the pendulum is swinging to womanhood. I think there are more man-woman transitioning than there are woman-man, at least taking selfies can put food on the table; for men no one would spare a glance at your portrait. Again we remain the victims. I foresee men in the next century campaigning for gender equality as at this rate we would be completely emasculated.

Richard Anozia Zod (Author of I Love The Ant) is a young Nigerian pharmacist who thoroughly enjoys writing.

Follow Zod on Twitter @nazcargad

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